My Gratitude Journal

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I am blessed with the gift of forgetfulness, but there are some things I just can’t forget.

Like the time I sat down with a fellow church member to ask why she didn’t like me. “There’s just something about the way you walk,” she began, and though I can’t quote the rest of the conversation, it distilled down to something like, “You’re too happy.”

I must have furrowed my brow because she went on to say that from the time she was young, she battled depression. She wakes up sad and has to work her way to happy. And here I was, in her face.

In turn, I shared that from the time I was young, I woke up happy but allowed the little irritations of the day beat me down. I was happy to report, however, that since that unhappy childhood, I found joy in Jesus, and almost always went to bed smiling.

All that probably didn’t do much to nurture a vibrant relationship.

But it was true. It was also true that my happiness was easy to sustain because I had an almost carefree life. Joy untested. (I can see your pens poised, Christian brothers and sisters, ready to eloquently expound on the difference between happiness and joy. But just go with the story. Thanks.)

Well, the carefree season has passed, and now I face struggles like the rest of you. And actually, I’ve done quite well. (It’s that joy thing.) But I realized recently I’m not waking up happy anymore. I barely open my eyes, and my mind is ferreting out some negative memory or unmet expectation. That’s new. I don’t remember fighting that battle before.

So I give myself a mental rubberband snap and get ready for the rest of the day. Every day.

I’m grateful to have friends who are close enough to notice and honest enough to tell me that they miss that cheery old me. Unlike some others who…

Snap!

One of my friends, one who’s battled some giants herself, has been encouraging me to keep a gratitude journal. I know she’s right, but so far I’ve been unsuccessful. But today is a new day, so here goes:

1. I had a bowel movement this morning.

2. I ate only six cookie balls before bed last night when I could have eaten twelve.

3. There are only six cookies calling my name from that top laundry room shelf.

4. I weigh only 1.2 pounds more than I did yesterday.

5. My dear friend tasked me with finding only five things to be grateful for when she could have asked me to squeeze out six or seven.

There. Finito. Done.

Oh. Wait. I’ve thought of another.

6. Jesus said the Helper, the Holy Spirit, is here to comfort me and teach me and bring to my remembrance the things He’s said.

Whoa! Six! Over the top!

What’s that? Just one more?

7. Happiness may come and go, but joy in Jesus will last for eternity.

I hope that makes y’all happy.